Do I Have to Bring My Daughter Back?

Q.

I married a man from the UK and we now have a little girl (all of us reside in England). My husband told us to go to the states so he could clear his head. Whilst there, he sent a text message telling us not to come back, ever!

My husband and I are not divorced nor have a seperation agreement. He now wants to take my little girl away from me. Hope you can advise.

Do I legally have to bring my daughter back?

A.

It sounds as if you’re originally from the United States originally (it would seem to be the only reason your husband might send you and your daughter there). From his text message it would appear that he believed the marriage was over and that he wanted to have no contact with you or your daughter, even though there’s no legal separation agreement.

However, now he appears to have changed his mind with regards to your daughter. Do you have written proof or any kind of corroboration that he told you to go to the US with your daughter? If so, gather it, otherwise he might try to claim that you took her away from him (although the US is one of many countries that has an agreement with the UK to help with the recovery of abducted children).

As a married couple, you have joint parental responsibility for your daughter. However, if you or your husband files for divorce, as would appear likely from your letter, then you’ll decide upon residency, and if you can’t come to an amicable agreement it can be worked out through a mediator so you can present the court with what’s known as a Statement of Arrangements, which sets out where the child will live and with whom, how often the other parent will have access, etc.

The court has to ratify that residency arrangement, and it will take several factors into account, the biggest one being the child’s welfare. One thing that could count against your husband in this instance is the fact that he’s already rejected the child once, but other circumstances will count, too – for instance, if you stay with your daughter in the US, what impact will that geographical and cultural change have on her?

Everything becomes more complex because it appears to be playing out over two countries – the US and the UK – with two different legal systems, although you indicate that any legal process has been started. The very best thing you can do is talk to an attorney who’s familiar with family law on both sides on the Atlantic. He (or she) will be able to offer you proper advice.