Smacking Your Children

Hi all I’ve been looking at lots of information as I had an experience where I was on the beach with my 3 kids, we where heading back to the car as water was coming in and my son kept running off from me, I asked him to wash the sand of which he did but he kept runnign of and then by the car rolled in the sand. I wasn’t feeling very well and I couldn’t handle my feeling and ended up giving him one light snack on his leg. This was reported to the police, they came out and saw the kids and were happy. They left it at that. I decided to do something’s to help me keep my cool and work better at controlling my emotions. I approached local talking services, I told them what happened. At the end they said they had to do a referral, after speaking to their safeguarding lead they were advised to do a MARF form. I’m now petrified about this and so is my wife. Smacking is wrong and does not improve behaviour. I am the adult and responsible for controlling my actions. I feel like I’ve reached out for help and now I’m more anxious than I was before.

Hi all I’ve been looking at lots of information as I had an experience where I was on the beach with my 3 kids, we where heading back to the car as water was coming in and my son kept running off from me, I asked him to wash the sand of which he did but he kept runnign of and then by the car rolled in the sand. I wasn’t feeling very well and I couldn’t handle my feeling and ended up giving him one light snack on his leg. This was reported to the police, they came out and saw the kids and were happy. They left it at that. I decided to do something’s to help me keep my cool and work better at controlling my emotions. I approached local talking services, I told them what happened. At the end they said they had to do a referral, after speaking to their safeguarding lead they were advised to do a MARF form. I’m now petrified about this and so is my wife. Smacking is wrong and does not improve behaviour. I am the adult and responsible for controlling my actions. I feel like I’ve reached out for help and now I’m more anxious than I was before.

Hi all I’ve been looking at lots of information as I had an experience where I was on the beach with my 3 kids, we where heading back to the car as water was coming in and my son kept running off from me, I asked him to wash the sand of which he did but he kept runnign of and then by the car rolled in the sand. I wasn’t feeling very well and I couldn’t handle my feeling and ended up giving him one light snack on his leg. This was reported to the police, they came out and saw the kids and were happy. They left it at that. I decided to do something’s to help me keep my cool and work better at controlling my emotions. I approached local talking services, I told them what happened. At the end they said they had to do a referral, after speaking to their safeguarding lead they were advised to do a MARF form. I’m now petrified about this and so is my wife. Smacking is wrong and does not improve behaviour. I am the adult and responsible for controlling my actions. I feel like I’ve reached out for help and now I’m more anxious than I was before.

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I know there is emotional abuse happening in my house bw my husband and my daughters (14 & 16). Last night my 16 year old was waiting to call into a radio station for tickets, my husband became very angry at her during this time. I will not make excuses, she can give lots of attitude and he turned her over and smacked her bum. Worse yet is he smacked a part that already hurts from a separate issue. How do I handle this? He needs help and won’t get it. I also bc of my job understand the laws in my state with children. How should I go about getting him help for his anger and depression if he refuses? TIA

I wish to share my story of Sandwell Social Services allowing and condoning abuse because it keeps them in a job. My son has been burnt 3x times in his mothers care. had various injuries due to lack of supervision, gave a statement to police 08/08/21 saying his mother hits him /abuses regularly, pulls /pinches his ears, smacks his head as punishement, has hit him with a stick one time, his aunty has smacked his head once for something he did not do.But mother not arrested as child not injured! So does this mean if a person is attached on street or abused as long as there are no injuries...it didnt happen? I have made several referrals myself and through NSPCC. NSPCC say its abuse and child cruelty. Despite several referals, they acknowlege its "unacceptable" yet they allow it to continue. Injury referral May 16 fobbed off, said it was "malicious" on paperwork even though the injuries were there. He was burnt severely in 06/2016 3 weeks later, on his left palm aged 2. I reported it and they police/social workers accepted mothers version that he "grabbed a hot iron". They believed his mother that i was merely reporting it to be malicious and cause trouble/gain custody even though the burn was very clear and real.Police said it was not a criminal case,. Birmingham social services said it would be referred to Sandwell Childrens as my son was in that area but sandwell didnt do their own investigations and fobbed it off. A NSPCC referral Jan 17 due to me noticing regular injuries from lack of supervision. Case closed without talking to mother/home visit. They spoke to nursery who said they had not seen any injuries (as they were under clothes) this same nursery did not see a burn on his hand a few months later in plain sight!!. Case closed again. He got burnt again 09/17, nursery did not even see it on his hand. This time another referral by doctor in A&E, child said he had been smacked after getting burnt (mother said she was in toilet and he plugged iron in switched it on and tried to use it by climbing on trike) they believed her far fetched story!. He was put on child protection plan but under category of risk of emotional harm due to a non existant animosity between separated parents (all communication done in writing, no evidence of this whatsoever, i asked them if i should not report injuries, they said you should) Mother taught not to leave hot iron on near child. case closed after 9 months due to no further incidents whilst under their watch. But another burn in March 19 (No3). (almost healed due to gap in contact so i could not report it as i was deterred from doing so by conduct of social workers). Formal complaint Feb 18. Apology received for social worker not following procedure. full complaint not investigated and covered up by saying "social worker not available to interview". 2018-2020 Child showed emotional trauma anxiety and fear, getting upset over slightest things such as spilling a drink or dropping something. Would not say why

I stumbled across this website while searching relative questions. Recently my two boys were fighting, normally they usually diffuse the issue on their own however this time it seemed to have progressed, I decided I'd heard enough and went out to go see what was going on and stop it. Once I get into visual I noticed my youngest has my oldest on the ground in a fetal position while he's kicking him vigorously. I was sincerely so shocked that my first reaction was to slap him. After all was said and done, I quickly gained remorse for what I had done normally this is not my typical behavior. Yet the mere fact that I saw what I saw forced a trigger. Normally a typical tap on the back of the head is usually all it takes sometimes. However this time was different. This time it made contact with his face. I left a small red finger mark. After firmly escorting him to his bedroom, I went back down to my bedroom and started compiling all of my thoughts. I cried because I couldn't believe I even got to that point. And though the marks were not bad I personally still felt bad and know that he doesn't deserve that kind of treatment. I've literally beaten myself up for this mistake. After hearing and reading some of these posts and statements, what I did holds no wait compared to what I'm reading. As a parent there is no validation for that kind of action. And I am ashamed of what I've done. If any of you parents out there have embarked on the mistake that I have made, please strongly consider reevaluating your actions. Our world at this time is extremely complicated and filled with Mass uncertainties. I'm pretty sure that the last thing us parents want to do is to amplify these confusions and uncertainties. * To the other parents who've gone even further than I have. STOP IT NOW!!!! Save yourself from jail. Save your kids from harm. Save your own sanity if you have one. We've implemented new rules and procedures for such actions, and I suggest any parent who may not know how to address hostile situations to seek guidance. Some of those professionals really do have tricks that work far better than the chosen mistake.

Hi there, I have recently found out that I am pregnant around 12 weeks, and i have already have a 13 months old year old. I have seriously considered having an abortion which led to me speaking to a counsellor provided by the clinic to help me to make a decision about it. I missed multiple appointments due to my uncertainty.But the more i shared the counsellor more relieved I was and I just enjoyed having somebody to talk and just share my inner fears. However , during the transition time I was and Still am feeling overwhelmed, and that it’s the reason why I have spoken to the counsellor. So basically I told her every about my life. I told her about my relationship inner issues , how I think I might not be able to manage with so childrenand even though my partner is all over the moon with it. So I basically told her that I feel that I smaked my baby of 1 old in a fla couple of occasions ! But always on the bottom, hands and I don’t hurt my baby ! I told her that I felt very guilty and I feel that in order to cope with the stress of uni assignments and home and children duties (because my partner also has a 5 year boy that sometimes I look after when he’s working) I have been smoking pot. But I also told her that I mainly did it at the time when my baby is at school and when my partner takes her to bed! I told her that my daughter has all of her needs met , but it’s just me that I am a wreck atm. Still I felt that she was redirecting me to have an abortion even though I told her I was against it and I would prefer having a baby rather than going through of getting rid of baby, plus my partner really wanted me to have the baby too. But when I had my phone appointment with the doctors she was making questions such as, you must be feeling very overwhelmed and etc! And then she turns : did you smack your baby ? And I was extremely chocked to her saying that ! And she carried on saying that she received a report of the counsellor stating a few things including that I smoked pot. And I told her that I didn’t want to speak to her about that , because I didn’t speak to her initially and that was a personal matter shared which has laws that protect the confidentially matter ! I asked the counsellor if there was any issues on what I had shared which she said that there wasn’t and she also made sure that prior to ever call she told me that if there wasany info that needed to be shared , that I would be made aware of! I literally feel betrayed, I would have mind if she told me that she needed to share it ! But I’m extremely annoyed to the fact that I literally speak to a doctor who already knows everything that bothers me without me even talking to her. It’s not illegal to smack your baby , but that is not me ! I don’t like smaking children that is why I was bothered by it ! And I don’t hit her and never ever hurt her , and I wouldn’t allow nobody to do it! I was crying and overwhelmed because I need help to cope And not some stupid counsellor to think s

Hi everyone, So me and my ex have separated I have a 9 year old daughter with her, She has now married, But when I collect my daughter she never seems happy, I ask what's the matter, She said her step dad has been hard slapping her arm/wrist and Bum, When she doesn't do as asked straight away, IE : Wash the pots, Brush your teeth, Clean your room, Is this acceptable behaviour?? I have 2 other children my punishment is to send them to there room, Of take there phone of them etc...I collect her from a contact centre I have mentioned it to a member of staff but was told we would discuss it once I do the hand over, A part of me wishes to just keep her at mine.. But I know I will probably get in trouble doing that, What should I do?? Thanks.

Is it illegal for a parent to slap a 10 year old kid for not smiling

Devildog report your wife she's not safe to be around children,keep your family away from her. The best thing you can do is leave and keep her family,your family safe from her. I was in a abusive relationship for 10 yrs my biggest regretbut the good thing is my kids

Hi this for the children here. I'm a mum of six children in 2018 I ended a abusive relationship I found out the ex was abusing my children I called the police and child services and contacted my family. My advice tell the other parent or tell an adult you trust you need to be protected is not ok to be abused in any shape or form please get help and stay safe out there.

If you are a child and you are going to be speaking with a child care worker make sure that you have someone that you trust with you or that the interview is recorded so there is chance that anyone can put words in your mouth and the truth should never be distorted! To make a case and it dose happen so please always say the truth not what you think someone wants to hear !

Dear chocolate mouth, I read your message and it made me so upset. All I know is that you are a lovely person and deserve to be treated with love and respect. Children need a safe environment provided by their parents. Go to the police and report your dad. Speak the truth. Speak your truth. Do it for you and for your siblings. Always know your beautiful worth even when others try to bring you down. You know deep down it s not true. At times when we live in such a setting you may come to have low self esteem but please know that you deserve love and respect. Go to the police please. I will pray for you.

Chocolate mouth- please please go to the police/ social services- your dad’s behaviour is totally unacceptable, wrong and illegal. I’m heartbroken to hear what your dad is doing. Keep a diary of what he is doing and also the triggers- all of that helps as evidence. Don’t be afraid of speaking up- we keep doing it and people keep getting away with it.

I am a 14yr old girl that lives in the UK, I've come here because recently in lockdown my dad had been getting rly angry at me for no reason, me and my sister have to do the washing up everyday, it was my turn, he called me down to do it n I went down a hour later, I was walking around my sitting room just looking out the window when he screams at me to go do it, I said I'm doing it now I was just looking out the window, he grabs me and drags me into the kitchen n hits me really hard in the face and pushes me into the fridge and pulls my hair out n punches me, I didn't understand why he was so angry so I said why are you so angry I was coming down to do it, then he hits me again in the face and takes me to the sink and pushes my head under the water, my mum was at work n idk if I should tell her, is this ok to do ?

I’m almost 13 and my dad slams me to the floor and starts slapping me vigorously. He won’t stop until I say sorry but it’s for simple little things. I think that he favours my older sister more then me because he never does it to her and always says that she does more than me which isn’t true. I’m only young and i cry every night feeling depressed with no emotion. My whole family favours my sister more as well apart from my auntie which I can rely on but we rarely talk over the phone. Today my dad shouted for no reason at me while I was eating my food and he said “you are the most laziest b**tch I know” this made me feel unstable as my own dad would say that about me. Please can someone help me out and reply to this comment so I know what to do in future

My dad came back to our place again after he left his country to go back here. I didn't want him to go back because me, my brother, and my mom are scared of him because he has a bipolar and temperate attitudes that pop out of nowhere. Our dad gets mad at the three of us on little things like where are we going at night or why are you talking when I'm talking or why didn't you clean the house, when we do those silly little mistakes he gets mad at us and starts yelling, slapping his own daughter, scratching the head of my brother, and kicking us out of our own house. I'm tired of this situation and daily lifestyle every single day. I always pray to God for him to change but he never does because he smokes cigarettes everyday 24/7 and gets mad right after he smokes. He mostly focuses on me his own daughter,main target to get mad at, makes me cry, slap me, scratches my face, drags and pulls my hair in the floor to the living room, spills the water in front of my face, makes me stay outside the house for 1 hour sometimes almost 3 hours during night. I am tired of him doing this to me, he clearly has mind problems because of his 30 years of smoking and he's only 43 years old. He doesn't want me to and smile, laugh, and live life to the fullest. Maybe he needs to go to rehab for his attitude to me, i clearly dont want trouble but he makes it think i want to do trouble. I'm confused and scared of him everyday of my teenage life. I'm a growing teenager that needs to stay safe at home.

My sister has an 11 year old daughter who has massive temper tantrums and hit her mum if she does not get her own way. The police have been called to report a common assault against her daughter and they don’t do anything and now the daughter thinks she is untouchable. Social workers are not involved and they have made matters worse by suggesting that they have mother and daughter bonding. Me sister does not hit her and I was wondering if when my sister gets hit by her daughter can she defend herself by hitting back.

Hey so my parents occasionally slap me as a result of bad behaviour, rarely my mum bet my dad does it the most and i am a young teen female and I am not quite sure if it counts as abuse. It can leave a red mark and sometimes kinda what looks like irritated skin and 'goose bumps'. I read somewhere that where I live its illegal to hit your child above the neck but he flicks behind my ears and head. I am not sure anymore and I love him and my mum a lot but he verbally calls me names and swears a lot more than mildly. this is usually in the heat of an argument but the small things are in a little small disagreement. thanks!

hi my wife was on the phone to my gradchildren mother and she told her and i heard her on the phone that she punched her 10y old hard and was worried that her daughter would tell her teacher.. the one that was punched is not my grandchild but i have 2 young ones age 3 to 5 by her .. i dont know if i should report it due to backlash i would get .. my wife works for a Charity against child bullying- abuse and i said she has i responsibility to protect , but my wife is good friends with the mother and not the grandchildren grandmother as this is my second marriage. I think if she can hit her eldest in temper then there is a possibility she might hurt the little ones . many thanks

hi my wife was on the phone to my gradchildren mother and she told her and i heard her on the phone that she punched her 10y old hard and was worried that her daughter would tell her teacher.. the one that was punched is not my grandchild but i have 2 young ones age 3 to 5 by her .. i dont know if i should report it due to backlash i would get .. my wife works for a Charity against child bullying- abuse and i said she has i responsibility to protect , but my wife is good friends with the mother and not the grandchildren grandmother as this is my second marriage. I think if she can hit her eldest in temper then there is a possibility she might hurt the little ones . many thanks

Is it illegal for a mum to hit their 15 year old female daughter with a slipper and it leave a bruise??

would being hit with a wooden hairbrush be illigal?

When Iwas a child in the 70's my mother hit me if I was really naughty which was rare which as an adult I felt was justified at the time. I thought I would take the same approach to parenting, until my husband started hitting me. I was eventually hospitalised after my husband attacked me. Now I know that no amount of violence is acceptable in any situation. If I hit my daughter for doing wrong I would be no better than her abusive Dad. If he ever hit her I would go straight to the police. Violence against another human being whatever the relationship is wrong!

I have 3 children and they go their dads every weekend. My youngest has come home with a red slap mark on her leg which occurred some three/four hours beforehand. Her father straight away said he did it. It was punishment for accidentally hitting her sister in the face with something after she had been told several times not to. To me the punishment does not fit the crime, my children get the occasional smack but never as hard to leave a mark and to be honest it’s not something I tend to do often. I find removing toys and early nights work for me. The problem is this happened Saturday and it’s now Monday and the mark is still there and bruised. It’s the 2nd time it’s happened. I don’t like to admit it but I don’t know what to do as I’m scared of him myself. I feel utterly useless, my youngest has behaviour issues and she is worse after she has been with him. My 9 year old felt like she wanted to defend her younger sibling and was upset that she had to endure daddy hitting my youngest. If I had my way he wouldn’t see them at all. I feel like I’m neglecting them by making them go to his when they have all stated they don’t want to go anymore. Advice please!

I have 3 children and they go their dads every weekend. My youngest has come home with a red slap mark on her leg which occurred some three/four hours beforehand. Her father straight away said he did it. It was punishment for accidentally hitting her sister in the face with something after she had been told several times not to. To me the punishment does not fit the crime, my children get the occasional smack but never as hard to leave a mark and to be honest it’s not something I tend to do often. I find removing toys and early nights work for me. The problem is this happened Saturday and it’s now Monday and the mark is still there and bruised. It’s the 2nd time it’s happened. I don’t like to admit it but I don’t know what to do as I’m scared of him myself. I feel utterly useless, my youngest has behaviour issues and she is worse after she has been with him. My 9 year old felt like she wanted to defend her younger sibling and was upset that she had to endure daddy hitting my youngest. If I had my way he wouldn’t see them at all. I feel like I’m neglecting them by making them go to his when they have all stated they don’t want to go anymore. Advice please!

I have 3 children and they go their dads every weekend. My youngest has come home with a red slap mark on her leg which occurred some three/four hours beforehand. Her father straight away said he did it. It was punishment for accidentally hitting her sister in the face with something after she had been told several times not to. To me the punishment does not fit the crime, my children get the occasional smack but never as hard to leave a mark and to be honest it’s not something I tend to do often. I find removing toys and early nights work for me. The problem is this happened Saturday and it’s now Monday and the mark is still there and bruised. It’s the 2nd time it’s happened. I don’t like to admit it but I don’t know what to do as I’m scared of him myself. I feel utterly useless, my youngest has behaviour issues and she is worse after she has been with him. My 9 year old felt like she wanted to defend her younger sibling and was upset that she had to endure daddy hitting my youngest. If I had my way he wouldn’t see them at all. I feel like I’m neglecting them by making them go to his when they have all stated they don’t want to go anymore. Advice please!

Can you hit a child with a solid gold ring on your hand.

That is just awful so you did the right thing to get away from him. Nobody has to ever endure anything that makes them unhappy or is abusive. I grew up in a controlling home too so I totally understand how awful it makes you feel. What is good though is that it never dictates the rest of your life or who you become. In fact it makes you all the more determined to be in a happy environment and to do well in life. Good for you for getting away from that life!!!